Positive Parenting Messages

Father and Child

As a child, we learn what others think of us by the things they say and do. We interpret these messages to mean something and apply these meanings to ourselves. They then become a part of our self-concept.

Positive Mother Messages

  • I want you.
  • I love you.
  • I’ll take care of you.
  • You can trust me.
  • It’s not what you do but who you are that I love.
  • You are special to me.
  • I love you, and I give you permission to be different from me.
  • Sometimes I tell you “no,” and that’s because I love you.
  • You can trust your inner voice.
  • You don’t have to be afraid anymore.

Positive Father Messages

  • I love you.
  • I have confidence in you.
  • I will set limits and enforce them.
  • If you fall down, I will pick you up.
  • You are special to me. I am proud of you.
  • (For girls) You are beautiful, and I give you permission to be a sexual being.
  • (For boys) I give you permission to be the same as I am, to be more than I am, and to be less than I am.

Relationship Inventory

Take Time to Talk Intimately with Your Partner

Relationship Satisfaction Inventory

Happy CoupleFill out this inventory and give it to your partner to do the same. Then set aside some time to compare and talk about how each of you has rated each category. Look for the strengths in your relationship as well as identify the areas that could be enhanced, to make this the kind of relationship you would like it to be. Set a goal together to make this happen.

On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being very unsatisfied and 10 being very satisfied, rate each of the following:

  • Communication skills
  • Creative use of conflict/crisis
  • Common goals and values … what are they?
  • Agreement on gender roles
  • Cooperation and teamwork
  • Sexual fulfillment
  • Money management
  • Commitment to growth, yours and the relationship
  • Giving and receiving appreciation and affection
  • Time together
  • Family matters … parents, in-laws, children
  • Decision making skills