It Happens All the Time in Heaven

One of the things that hap­pens in rela­tion­ships that cre­ates dis­con­nec­tion from each oth­er is too much focus on what is irri­tat­ing us about the oth­er per­son — and let­ting them know. It’s impor­tant to feel safe enough and take the time to talk about what’s both­er­ing us. It’s also impor­tant to let the oth­er know what you appre­ci­ate. Having an atti­tude of look­ing for ways to be kind and appre­ci­at­ing the ways your part­ner is being kind can help shift the focus to a more pos­i­tive one.

A poem by Hafiz about kind­ness, “As It Is in Heaven” touch­es me deeply. I occa­sion­al­ly share it with cou­ples as some­thing to remem­ber and aspire to. I think if we woke up every day and thought about this as an inten­tion­al way to be with our part­ners — or with every­one real­ly — our rela­tion­ships would be more mean­ing­ful.

It hap­pens all the time in Heaven,
And some day it will begin to hap­pen
Again on Earth –

That men and women
Who give each oth­er light,
Often will get down on their knees

And, with tears in their eyes,
Will sin­cere­ly speak, say­ing,

My dear,
How can I be more lov­ing to you,
How can I be more kind?”

—Hafiz