As a child, we learn what others think of us by the things they say and do. We interpret these messages to mean something and apply these meanings to ourselves. They then become a part of our self-concept.
Positive Mother Messages
- I want you.
- I love you.
- I’ll take care of you.
- You can trust me.
- It’s not what you do but who you are that I love.
- You are special to me.
- I love you, and I give you permission to be different from me.
- Sometimes I tell you “no,” and that’s because I love you.
- You can trust your inner voice.
- You don’t have to be afraid anymore.
Positive Father Messages
- I love you.
- I have confidence in you.
- I will set limits and enforce them.
- If you fall down, I will pick you up.
- You are special to me. I am proud of you.
- (For girls) You are beautiful, and I give you permission to be a sexual being.
- (For boys) I give you permission to be the same as I am, to be more than I am, and to be less than I am.